How do you truly know when it’s time to quit? Is it the day-to-day that’s impacting you? Or is it because you can’t stand your coworker’s habits any longer?
I’ve been re-reading Crazy Good by Steve Chandler for the 3rd time since I downloaded it on my kindle three weeks ago.
Steve is a global best selling author, because of his truth, and especially because of his ability to get REAL with his coaching clients. In this book he talks about the reality of choices, moving beyond our victim stories, and I started to reflect on my career from this lens.
For so long I looked at my career from the lens that I had to deal until things were completely unbearable (the trinity of hating my routine, hating my coworkers, and hating the work). Only when I hit the tipping point could I push myself to find another job, any job to get me out as soon as possible.
This was so not helpful, because I kept finding myself back in the “same role” even though the title, people, and location changed.
So what gives?
I learned it was my own avoidance of owning my mistakes, and learning to trust my gut that led me to feeling this way in every job I had.
I played victim, and it worked SO well. Only when I decided to find a new job did I come alive, talk to my strengths, nail the interview, get hired, and then find myself in the same routine, not having really learned what I did wrong to cause it.
The experience and cycle of getting a job and continuing to serve only my basic needs (money), taught me (more like smacked me a little bit) to teach me that I need to focus on my intuition.
I knew all along in these jobs that things didn’t “feel right”. Instead of taking charge, I used to sink- and rather than face the music, I would just continue to work harder to “solve things”.
Recently, I was talking with a client about the prospect of moving into a new role, and it was SO timely that she described a lot of the same feelings that I used to relate to:
- Resentment for how she was being treated
- Burn out from putting in consistent 12 hour days
- Lack of motivation because the work isn’t exciting
- Feeling different from your coworkers
What we began mapping out stemmed from these feelings, which were basically taking the power that this amazing, talented, and brilliant woman had and giving it away. It’s hard to form a plan when you feel like you have no power to solve it.
That was our first task- we came up with a series of questions to help gauge if she was really ready to leave, or if she was simply giving her power away…
What turned out, was that she knew instinctively that the job was coming to a close for her. Her intuition had been warning her for MONTHS- nearly 6 months that this was not aligning, she couldn’t put her finger on what the issue was. Once we identified what she felt powerless over, I asked her a series of questions to tap into her intuition and get her focused on where she was naturally aligning to.
It isn’t easy deciphering between ready to go, and ready to grow. Whether it’s time to reflect, or time to jump ship.
If you are doubting where you fit right now in your job, try using the following questions to help align you beyond the immediate problems, and view your job career with fresh eyes.
Have you set up boundaries?
If you feel resentment for how you’re being treated at work, reflect how you have established boundaries to help balance your ability to get the work done, while being social and supporting the team/wider priorities as needed.
Does imagining a new job physically lift you?
It can feel light, it can feel fleeting, it can also be the permission you need to give yourself to let go and move on if the fit just isn’t working.
What would you change right now if you could?
Get crystal clear on what is a must change, and what’s a nice to change. We all need to know the line on our deal breakers, especially successful people.
What would you like to be doing five years from now?
Make a list or write a description. Focus yourself on the future.
What percentage of time are you operating from your strengths?
Probably your biggest indicator, when are you “in the zone”, using what you like, feeling like you’re part of something bigger, and making a contribution that makes you proud?
It takes a lot of guts to look at yourself and go beyond the situation to have a hard look at whether you are truly ready to go, or just aching to grow into your role which may perhaps just be difficult because you are still going about it the same way.
Also- don’t forget- we ALL think about this. Even people who are overwhelmingly happy go through periods where they wonder “what if”...you my dear are ahead of the pack, and using these questions will give you the ability to differentiate between the go or grow phase- so take it as a blessing that either way, you will evolve, grow, and become more of who you’re meant to be.