What causes us to overthink?
My husband and I are planning to buy a house this year. Everyone tells us it's one of the most important purchases we'll ever make.. hearing that over and over got me thinking...
Once we decided on a house (5+ years ago now) we waited until this year to do the research on what the process is like, and spent a good couple of years saving a good chunk of change for the down payment. Given all of the effort and the planning, you'd think we'd be done by now!
However, when it comes to where and what we are exactly buying, this is where I find myself stuck.
Whenever I find myself this stuck on what to do- I resolve to think about it..and think about it...and think about it...without resolution it seems!
Ever experience this when you can’t make up your mind, or can’t decide what it is that you want and you repeat the same process of reviewing your options again and again?
It’s refreshing to know...that it’s all in your head :)
We overthink because as humans we are wired to find an answer, our answer. We seek out more information, and feel a natural inclination towards dissatisfaction when we are already indecisive or unsure about stepping through the door.
It’s so common to experience, yet triggered by a variety of different scenarios. A bad breakup, deciding where to buy a house, launching a business, perfectionism, starting a novel, leaving your job, moving abroad, anything that includes movement and deep change can cause us to move into hyper drive.
How we repeat situations, conversations, and options is our natural instinct and curiosity to continue processing information in order to uncover the best solution for us. Naturally, we will all typically experience this when we hit a truly uncomfortable place. It can occur when you face a fear that you may have been avoiding for years (in my case, I’m fearful of committing to one place for so long!).
Overthinking tends to blend into other aspects of our lives. It’s like your natural reaction to protect someone you love on caffeine, and the caffeine perpetuates overthinking into feeling overwhelm by the decision and the options. So suddenly, the issue was small, then it became BIG.
When overwhelm pops up from overthinking, it’s a result of not being able to “solve” or understand a series of events that occurred. As a result of overwhelm, that’s when the fear shifts the order of your intended priorities.
Why decisions are hard to make while overthinking
Overthinking can typically be found hanging out with mental and physical stressors. When looking for root cause of your overthinking, try exploring your other stressors using a few of these thoughtful questions:
· What are you experiencing, aside from this decision, that could be weighing on you right now?
· How are you feeling physically?
If you like to reflect more on the past and how you’d handled situations like it before, you can try to connect back to that time and ask what triggered you to overthink, and how would you approach that situation right now.
The beauty of overthinking is that it means you are SO close to the decision point. Although your mind is at the root of the indecision, it’s really easy to shift your energy to allow your mind to make the best decision possible for you. If you’ve been waiting or hanging on for the answer to your solution- trust that you already have it, because you do!